The internet is dragging a man for not inviting his wife to a party out of fear of having to “babysit” her throughout the event.
Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the username u/throwawaysbdayswife shares his story to the “AITA” community so they can weigh in on if he was in the wrong. The viral post has 3,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The Redditor begins by explaining that his best friend at work, “Rick,” was having a birthday party. The party was being held in a bar and was more laid-back than a sit-in restaurant, so spouses were also invited. His wife believed it to be a work-related party but the original poster (OP) explained that it was a celebration.
“I was honest and told her it’s because I wanted to have fun and didn’t want to have to babysit her. She is outgoing and can converse easily with new people that she meets but she wouldn’t know anyone at the party as she hasn’t met any of my colleagues before. This would mean that I would feel like I have to accompany her or check in on her frequently. I can’t just relax and enjoy the party,” he wrote.
“She does have some social anxiety. So she likes it when I check in on her or stay close by when we are in a larger group. This is why I feel like I would have to babysit her and I just want to have fun and not think about these things,” he continued.
Do you know someone who has experience with social anxiety? There are plenty of ways to help them feel comfortable in a social setting. Per verywellmind.com, great ways to help people with social anxiety are by being a good listener, trying to play a game to distract them and showing empathy.
His wife called him out for making her feel like a burden. She explained to him that her feelings were hurt and that the OP didn’t want her to meet the people that he worked with. She also argued that she is a stay-at-home mother with two young children and can’t get out much.
“I told her that I’d be happy to introduce her to my colleagues but I offered to organise a dinner to do so but I just want to enjoy myself and have fun at this party – and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. She’s currently being cold and not talking to me.”
Other Redditors were quick to comment on their opinions.
“[You’re the A**hole]. Introducing your outgoing wife to your colleagues will impede your fun as you will feel like a babysitter. Are you serious? instead she gets to stay home with your young kids while you focus completely on having fun. [A**hole],” u/nikokazini slammed the OP, receiving over 13,000 upvotes on their comment.
U/CensoredZebra wrote, “[You’re the A**hole] yeah, dude, you suck. First things first, maybe I’m a weirdo, but my SO is my best friend, I always ask him to go places with me and checking up on him during a party wouldn’t really be a drag for me.”
U/Great_Clue_7064 questioned the OP, “[You’re the A**hole] and also, who is the woman you’re hoping to flirt with at this party? I hope she’s worth the alimony, bro.”
“You didn’t make your wife sound clingy, you just made it sound like you don’t wanna feel ‘obligated’ to check up on her throughout the party now and then, which yeah, makes her feel like you think of her as a burden, you d**k,” the commenter continued.
U/NoxWild said, “You just don’t want her there. You’re making up a scenario where you’ll be burdened by tending to her needs and unable to enjoy yourself. It’s weird that you think her presence means you won’t be able to have fun and enjoy yourself. What are you planning to do? An impromptu strip-tease? Make out in the corner with Jane from Accounting?”
Newsweek reached out to u/throwawaysbdayswife for comment.
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