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Woman Shares ‘Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Adopt,’ Sparking Debate

A TikTok video is drawing both praise and attention for instructing people with certain ideologies to adopt—and those without, to avoid adoption.

The video, posted Tuesday by user Tory Bae, has 1.3 million views and is titled, “Reasons why you shouldn’t adopt.” Bae writes that her video aims to explain “the bare minimum of what an adoptive parent should be doing.”

On her website, she describes herself “as a transnational, transracial adoptee from South Korea and a foster parent” who is also “an advocate for family preservation.”

You should not adopt if you don’t believe that adoption is trauma,” Bae said in the video. “You should not adopt if you’re using adoption as a family planning tool.

“You should not adopt if you don’t believe that adoption is trauma,” Bae said in the video. “You should not adopt if you’re using adoption as a family planning tool.”

“Adoption is for children that need families in permanency, not for families that need children,” she added. “Parenting is a privilege, not a right.”

Other reasons she mentions for those who may be considering adoption but maybe should not go through with it included: “saving” a child and giving them a better life; adopting “because God told you to do so”; using it as a solution or alternative to abortion; and not having the access and means for therapy.

Bae also said that individuals who are not “anti-racist” or proponents of the LGBT community should not adopt. She also stressed the difference between adoption through the privatized system and that of the foster care system, saying they are “different” and “cannot be compared.”

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