The internet has shut down a man who dismissed his girlfriend, who is recovering from an eating disorder, at a dinner with his family in a new post going viral.
A woman under the username, u/Hangryhippoh, posted her story to the infamous Reddit forum, r/AmITheA**hole. The popular post has over 12,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
“For background, I’m recovering from an eating disorder,” the Reddit user began, “Part of my recovery means that if I’m hungry, I need to eat. I need to get used to responding to hunger by eating. If I don’t eat when I’m hungry it can become a habit, and I could relapse. I know that’s hard for a lot of people to understand, but it’s the best way I can explain it. I always carry snacks to accommodate this.”
She and her boyfriend had plans to visit his aunt’s house for dinner at 6:30. The couple got there at 4 when the family gathering started. About an hour and a half of being at the house, the original poster (OP) started to feel hungry. She took a granola bar out of her purse to follow her “eat when you’re hungry” rule. They ate dinner and everything went well.
When they left, the OP’s boyfriend was upset because she “offended” his family by eating a snack before dinner. He explained that she “implied that they were bad hosts.” She told him that she needed to follow her rule. In response, he told her that she could have waited the extra hour to eat at dinner time. She explained that she could relapse if she made herself wait the hour as it could lead to her not eating for days.
He then accused her of “wanting attention” and that she was “being inconsiderate.”
Eating disorders affect about 9 percent of people in the world. In the United States, about 28.8 Americans will experience an eating disorder in their life, per the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders.
Some common symptoms that someone has an eating disorder include not wanting to eat in public, dramatic weight loss, not eating certain foods, lots of exercise, fear of gaining weight and consistently weighing themselves, according to Healthline.
In an update to the post, she wrote that they broke up.
“We had a long talk about what happened, and he couldn’t acknowledge that I know what’s best for my recovery. He said relationships are about compromise. I said that doesn’t apply to my health. He said it applies to everything. I said we should give each other space,” she concluded.
The followers of the subreddit shared their comments, most slamming the boyfriend for his actions.
“[Not the A**hole],” u/Dragonr0se received the top comment with 13,000 upvotes, “You are exactly correct and your boyfriend is more concerned with appearances than your well being.
“[Not the A**hole] – your boyfriend seem like he doesn’t really understand the importance of your recovery and making sure that the rules are followed to prevent a relapse,” u/Sirano_onariS wrote.
U/Fun-Two-1414 explained, “Your health is more important than pleasing people or keeping up appearances. Recovering from an eating disorder is a difficult process. Do not let ignorant people stop you from doing what you need to do to get better.”
U/handbagproblems pointed out, “He’s more worried about what his family thinks than your health.”
“Sounds like your boyfriend either doesn’t understand or doesn’t care about your eating disorder though,” u/clorpdotcomm said.
“Your boyfriend wanted you to jeopardise your health to please his family,” u/PerniciousBeast exclaimed, “He has shown you that he isn’t taking your recovery seriously and that’s a pretty big red flag.”
Newsweek reached out to u/Hangryhippoh for comment.
If you or someone else needs help, contact your doctor or the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at (800)-931-2237.
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