Members of a popular internet forum called out one man who explained why he threatened to remove his fiancée’s maid of honor from the couple’s wedding party.
In a Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/meatdefeater88 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said the maid of honor hates him “for no reason” and recounted the brutal confrontation that left him wondering if there was a reason after all.
Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for threatening to kick my wife’s maid of honor out of our wedding?” the post has received nearly 5,000 votes and 1,800 comments in the last day.
Describing his fiancée’s maid of honor as a “huge b**ch,” the original poster was adamant that she hates him for “literally no reason,” but speculated about the hostility he’s felt since the moment they met.
“She was very cold to me and was very clearly disapproving of me and multiple times asked my now fiancée why the hell she’s with me,” OP wrote. “I think it’s partially because my presence caused a big change in my fiancée’s life.
“She used to be a bit more [loose] with her morals, partied a lot, drank more, hooked up a lot, and these are all things that [her maid of honor] still does,” OP continued. “I also think part of her is jealous and angry that [my fiancée] found herself a good man.”
Noting that the couple plans to get married early next year, the original poster also said that at their recent engagement party, tension between he and the maid of honor came to a head, and swiftly boiled all-the-way over.
“She would glare at me across the room, wouldn’t have fun, and was trying [to bring] the mood down,” OP wrote. “I decided then was a good time to settle things.”
“I told her that my fiancée chose me, not her. I said she needs to get over her silly little grudge towards me,” OP continued. “I reminded her that it was my wedding and that I could have her out of it so fast.”
“[She] was visibly pissed and upset…[and] told my fiancée what I said and she told me I was being a huge dick and needed to apologize,” OP added. “I was accused of being passive aggressive and rude.”
Winning over a partner’s friends can be a slog and can sometimes feel like an impossible task.
Winning over a fiancée’s maid of honor who doubles as her best friend and seemingly hates you can feel even worse.
Across the internet, in forums like Quora and Reddit and outlets like Bustle and The Knot, men and women have wondered why they feel hated by their partner’s friends and sought to understand how they can change that.
But changing a close friend’s feelings is easier said than done and, in some cases, can’t be achieved at all.
In a 2019 article examining these types of tense relationships, Bustle recommended a myriad of potential solutions, including taking a step back, trying to understand the opposite perspective and if the situation improves, finding something in common to bond over.
And if all else fails, respect for the relationship is ultimately what’s most important and friendships between people who don’t like each other cannot be forced.
“No matter how much you want it to work out, forcing things won’t make anyone happy,” Dating.com VP Maria Sullivan said in an interview with Bustle. “Over time, the pressure of the situation will likely subside and can create opportunity for mended relationships.”
For the original poster, however, mended relationships don’t seem to be on the table.
At the end of his viral Reddit post, the original poster said his fiancée demanded him to apologize for berating her maid of honor. The original poster said he would apologize, but only after the maid of honor apologized to him.
She refused and OP admitted that his fiancée thinks he was wrong for verbally attacking her maid of honor.
Redditors responding to the viral post agreed.
“I don’t have enough information, so I can’t place why, but I do get an [a**hole] vibe from you,” Redditor u/TheGreatSwanRonson wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 14,000 votes.
“[You’re the a**hole],” Redditor u/Katana1369 wrote in a separate comment which has received more than 5,000 votes. “I don’t think you’re passive aggressive. You’re simply aggressive.”
“[You’re the a**hole],” Redditor u/penguin_squeak echoed, receiving nearly 5,000 votes. “After reading your post, I understand why your fiancée’s friend doesn’t like you, at all.”
Redditor u/Amesaskew, whose comment has received more than 4,000 votes, offered a similar, but more specific response.
“You lost me at ‘loose morals,'” they wrote. “Anybody who talks like that is an a**hole. She probably doesn’t like you because you talk like a condescending a**hole.”
Newsweek reached out to u/meatdefeater88 for comment.
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